Friday 9th October

Friday 9th October

As I have never been up a mountain before and, as you all know, I'm walking up Ben Nevis, Andy and I decided to walk up Snowdon to get a taste of what I have let myself in for.

On Friday the 9th Andy dropped me off at work at 7 in the morning and came back at 2.30 to pick me up and we were off. Andy was very quiet all the way up there but, hey, it was a long day so we were both tired.

We got to the hotel at 10.30 pm and went straight to sleep. When we got up we both decided that we were going to take our time and not rush. We just wanted to see how much work we both have to do.

We had breakfast and started walking at about 11. When we started walking it was raining and foggy but kind of nice and cool. When we had been walking for about an hour the weather started to clear and the sun came out.

We walked for about 2½ hours and I started to get tired so we decided to stop for lunch. Andy gave me my drink and was fiddling around with his bag.

Andy then came up next to me got down on one knee with a little box. He told me he loved me, that he loves spending time with me, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and will I marry him. Of course I said yes, so you guessed it we're engaged.

I phoned my mum and dad, and my sister was there, so told her as well. Then called my brother and his wife, who I have to say didn’t answer, I then called my best friend Dani who again didn’t answer (but I knew she wouldn't as she was away for the weekend as well) I then called my other best friend who was there and everyone was so excited for us. While I was making all my phone calls Andy sent his family a text just saying she said, “Yes”. I know that’s what he said because he sent it to me as well.

Well, back to Snowdon. It took us 2½ hours to get up as far as we did, but it took us 2 hours to get back, and I only fell over once. When we got back to the bottom again I was feeling tired but I wasn’t in pain, which I think was very good considering it was the first mountain I have ever climbed.

We came back on Sunday and all in all it was a very good weekend, a weekend I think Andy and I will never forget. So when you read this Andy - Thank you so much and I love you.

I will keep everyone informed with anything else exciting going on in my life.

Tuesday 22nd September

Tuesday 22nd September

Before we went on holiday Andy and I had decided to join a gym. We went around lots of gyms and we both decided the best gym for me was Virgin Active, which happens to be where Rob works.

We felt this was the right one because I feel they will give me the right support to help me reach my goals. It helps because Rob worked there, as he knows what I want, what I need to work on and, as I said, just gives me the right support.

So I joined the gym on Tuesday the 22nd September but I couldn’t do anything until Rob had shown me what I could use and how to use it. So as I was waiting to finish work on Tuesday the 29th I had a phone call from Rob saying he had someone cancel on him and would I like to come in. So of course I said yes.

I went home, got changed and headed straight to the gym. I was really nervous about going because I really wasn’t sure what I was going to do.

When I arrived Rob was waiting so we went straight in. It was going well but then Rob gets me on a big ball. He told me to sit on it and then lift my right let up and turn my ankle around, so I give it a go and nearly fall off backwards. It got to the point where Rob has to hold me for me to be able to do it.

Well I did it and I thought I had finished with the ball until Rob took me over to one of the machines with the ball. Rob gave me lots of weight-type things to do sitting on the ball. This meant I sounded like a monkey the whole time, trying to stay on the ball and Rob spent the whole time trying to keep me on the ball. It was very funny and I felt very, very stupid.

I’m sure it's going to do me a lot of good, but its going to take time seeing all that without seeing how stupid I looked at first.

I have been to the gym a couple of times since that night, and to be honest I have chickened out of doing anything thing in the gym and have just gone swimming.

I know I need to do it, but I just need to get a bit more confidence. I am going to get in touch with Rob to see if he can help me, and I will let you know how I get on.

Friday 18th September

Friday 18th September

Well Friday came and I was still feeling good, so we decided to go for another walk. We walked back down to Talland Bay.

When we got down there, we saw a sign saying, Looe 3 miles or Polperro 1½ , so we talked about it and of course we started to walk to Polperro.

When we had been walking for about a mile there was another sign to Polperro saying another 2 miles, which we didn’t think was very fair but we kept on walking down the coast road.

Again, when we had been walking for about 2 miles, there was another sign saying 1 mile, all Andy and I could do was laugh. What we didn’t know was once you get into Polperro you still have to walk another mile to get into town.

By the time we got into Polperro I was dead, but still not in pain. I was so tired, we stopped for lunch, which I was happy about. After we had eaten I still didn’t have any energy so Andy decided to go back to Talland Bay to pick up the car.

I walked up to the main road and found a good spot to stop for Andy to pick me up. I was expecting to wait for over an hour, so I got comfortable and started to read my book. I had only been waiting for 1/2 hour when Andy turned up, 1/2 of me was happy he had got there so quick but the other 1/2 was gutted that it had taken me 2 or 3 hours to get to Polperro and it had taken him 1/2 hour to get back to the car and be in Polperro to pick me up.

That made me reaslise that I had a lot of work to do, maybe too much work. But, hey, I didn’t think this was going to be easy, and I can't say I'm up for anything and not mean it. This is my time to show me and everyone around me what I can do.

Thursday 17th September.

Thursday 17th September.

Well, as you may be able to tell I'm a bit behind in writing my blog, but just to keep you up to date:

On Saturday the 12th September Andy and I went away with Andy's family to Looe for a week. There was 7 of us.

The place we stayed in was lovely. We were in an old converted stables called Wayland Farms, which is in between Looe and Polperro. Andy and I had planned to do a lot of walking, but it didn’t really work out that way. We spent the first part of the week seeing friends and family in that area, which was really nice, but we didn't get much training in.

Well finally, on Thursday, we decided to go for a 12 mile bike ride, from Wakebridge to Padstow. It was all a long a trailway, which was lovely. We followed the river all the way to Padstow, which was great because it was flat all the way.

On the way back, I did start to get tired and Andy had to push some of the way. But in my defence it was the first time I had been cycling with my knee brace on. But apart from that, I think we both really enjoyed it. Don’t worry I do have some photos of it for you all to enjoy with me.

When we got back to the cottage we both had a little rest and then got ready to go for a walk and get dinner out. When we started to walk we did talk about walking to Looe or Polperro but because I was still a bit achey from my bike ride we decided to walk to Talland Bay.

Talland Bay was only a mile or so down the road.. When we got down there, there was a little café doing a BBQ which we thought was nice but we wanted to see what else there was, so we carried on walking.

We walked another mile down the road to the other café that was there. When we arrived it was closed but there was a sign saying there was a Talland Bay Hotel about another mile up the road. So we decided to walk to it, as I walked up there I was feeling fine, my body ached, but I was fine. When we got up to the hotel we realised it was very, very expensive and we both weren’t dressed for it, so guess what - we had to walk back to the first café we passed.

When we got to the café we both had a really nice dinner sat by the bay watching the sun set. Then we realised that, although it was lovely to watch the sun set, it meant we had to walk back in the dark. We did think about calling someone to see if they could come and pick us up, but after a lot of talking we decided to walk back.

Half way home I thought my back was going to give out but I kept on walking. By the time we got back I felt really good. I was so proud of my self for everything I had done with my bike ride as well as going for a walk, and I was so happy I wasn't in pain.

So I went to bed that night feeling great and excited to see what else I can do.

Sunday 16th August

Now I just have to say before I said I was going to walk up Ben Nevis Andy and I went for a walk from Lychett to Morden to go to the Cock and Bottle and back again.

Well that was the plan anyway!

The further we got away from Lychett the harder I found the walk. At one point Andy and I didn’t think I was going to make it. I had to stop every 5 minutes and my back was causing me a lot of pain, but I did make it and Andy didn't have to carry me. Although we did have to get Kevin and Lou to come and pick us up and take us back to my car.

So back to Sunday the 16th August. As I have been doing a lot of walking I wanted to give this walk another go. I promised myself I would be able to finish this time.

So we were off and this time I really enjoyed the walk, I was feeling a lot better this time around than last time. We even had time to have a photo taken which, of course, you can already see at the top of the page.

The closer we got to the Cock and Bottle the more Andy and I could see how much better I had got and I was so pleased with myself. As we walked around the corner and saw the pub I was so pleased that I was still walking and not in pain.

We had a really nice lunch, talked to some people we knew in the pub, and then started to make our way back to Lychett.

Now this is where it didn’t really go according to plan. As we started walking, my back started to hurt. We didn't even get half way back and we had to turn around and get a lift back to the car again.

I was really upset that once again I didn't make it back, but, as Andy said, I can't expect to just be able to walk as far as I want straight away, if I could I would be doing Ben Nevis straight away and not giving myself a year to train.

So, yes, I didn't make it back and I had to get Allison to take us back to our car. I will be trying that walk again soon and I will make it back next time.

When I give it a go again you will be the first to know how I do, but all I can say is wish me luck.

2nd Auguest

Well Sunday the 2nd came really fast and as I said before I was really excited about going sailing, but I was also really nervous about going.

Now if you don't know me very well, I don't get nervous about many things. In fact, the last time I was that nervous, was my and Andy's first date. As my best friend Dani will know I was pretty bad.

When we got down there (by the way Andy came with me) we had to wait a bit for everyone to turn up, which didn’t help with my nerves, I wouldn't let Andy leave my side which he found very funny.

They told me I would be on there boat called The Hawk, which didn’t mean much to me but everyone else seemed happy with it. Once we got changed and got our life jackets on, we were off. As we went out there was no wind at all which I have to admit I didn't mind a bit. After a while they asked me if I would like to have a go at helming. To those of you, like me, who have no idea what helming is, it is steering. I do have to add I got told off for calling it steering so we will keep to helming for now.

While I was helming the wind picked up a bit. I was really pleased with myself, as I didn’t make anyone fall out and I found it really fun. Still don’t think I would like to be on a smaller boat, but who knows, maybe with a bit more time, I will give it a go.

We were out on the boats for about 3 hours which flew by, for me anyway. Andy was still sat on the shore waiting for me.

Everyone seamed really nice and friendly to both of us, and I really enjoyed meeting everyone and seeing for myself what they do. I will definitely be going again, but I do have to focus on my training at the moment.

I will write again when I go for another walk or do something just as exciting. Hope I'm not boring you to much, as we still have 10 months to go.

18/07/2009

Well, this is just an update on how my weekend went on the 18th and 19th of July.
When I got up on the Saturday my back wasn't too good, so after talking to mum, dad and Andy we all decided that walking from Corfe to Swanage really wasn't the best thing to do. We decided to go to Stourhead instead.

Mum packed a picnic and we were off. We wondered around the house, but so I could still do a little walk for my training we also walked around the grounds. Here are some photos of us enjoying out walk.

It's about a 3 mile walk all together, which we think was just enough to enjoy the day and still not hurt myself, or so we thought.

Once we got back to mum and dad's, Andy and I got into my car to go home and my back gave out. I rested all the rest of Saturday and on Sunday when I got up my back was still bad, but easier than it was on Saturday.

I decided that I really needed to talk to Sailability. So Andy and I went down to Rockley Park to try and meet someone, but the weather was so bad they had just left. So once again we had just missed them.

Because of my back I had to take a week of work, so I couldn't even start training with Rob, which I found really hard. The doctor told me I had to rest my back and not do too much. So I had to put everything on hold.

During that week I phoned Sailability to see if I could talk to someone and get more information about them. I managed to get hold of someone and told them all about what I'm doing, and asked them about Sailability. The lady I spoke to said she could tell me all about it over the phone, I could look it up on the internet or I could come down meet everyone and go sailing with them. That way I could see for myself what they do.

So, of course I thought about it for a bit and decided to go sailing. The next day I could go was Sunday the 2nd. They said that should be fun and look forward to seeing me. That was it I was going to meet everyone and go sailing, I was so excited but also so nervous but you will have to wait and see how I did.

15/07/09

Well, it is the 15th July 09 and the only thing I have to say is “Life is good.” I'm enjoying my self at work, my personal life is great and my Ben Nevis walk all seems to be fitting into place.

I talked to Rob yesterday and asked if he would help me train. He did, of course, say “Yes.” He thinks I would benefit more from joining his gym but with a lot of talking to people and thinking about it I can't afford to do that, it would be £120 for him to train me and £35 to join the gym per month. I would love to do that, but I can't, so Rob said he would train me outside the gym. He has also said he would talk to another gym to see if we could use their equipment with out joining. I have given him my number so he can give me a call to sort out when and where to start.

Everyone I have talked to about Ben Nevis is really positive which is really nice and it makes me want to do this even more.

Today I went and got myself some new walking boots and proper walking sticks. On Saturday Andy, mum, dad and I are walking from Corfe Castle to Swanage. Now I have my trainer and the equipment that I need I feel this is it, this is the start of where my life starts to change and the only thing I can say about it is I'm so excited about it all. All I need to do now is talk to Sailability which I'm going to do on Sunday.

I have emailed them and phoned them but have had no reply. Half of me is disappointed that they haven’t got back to me, the other half thinks I'm being stupid I know it's all volunteer work which means they have there own lives as well, so I can't really complain. I have looked at their web site and I know they are sailing this Sunday which is why I want to go down there.

Andy is coming with me, one for moral support and two for a 2nd opinion. I just hope it all works out. So after this weekend I will have done my walk to see how I go and hopefully have a charity and I can't wait. I really do think this is a start to a new beginning, well I hope it is anyway.

01/07/2009

Ben Nevis


Well what started out as a big joke seams to be coming true, which really wasn't the Plan?

Let's start from the beginning, Hi, My name is Caroline Cooper but my friends call me Caz. I am 26 years old, I live with my boyfriend Andy, I have an older brother, Kevin and an older sister, Allison and I can't forget my mum and dad Vivien and Graham.

The most important thing you should know about me is I have Spina Bifida. Which means I have a lot of back problems, but I also have one leg. Well I say I have one leg but really I have two just one hasn't grown properly, so I have to wear an artificial leg which fits over my actual leg.

Although I have a lot of physical problems I have never seen myself as different from anyone else. I am a strong believer in you can do anything in life, you just have it believe in yourself. I went to a normal school, I have a full time job and my hobbies are swimming, kayaking and cycling. So yes I do everything you can, I just do it in my own time and in my own way.

As you can tell I am very active but on the 5th November 2007 I had an operation on the lower part of my back. The doctor told me it would be 2 weeks healing process which I thought I could handle, but as always there were complications. It ended up being 8 months and because it was on the lower part of my back I wasn't allowed to sit down or lie on my back. During these 8 months I also had a sore on my little leg, which meant I wasn't allowed to ware my artificial leg.

I have to say those 8 months were the hardest I have ever had, not just physically but mentally as well. I had to relay on everyone around me, which was really hard for such an independent person. At this point I do just have to thank Andy and my mum, I really don't know how I would have coped without them. Now I don't want to get soppy or anything but they really did help me more than they both will ever know.

Now as you may know if you don't do any exercise your muscles start to deteriorate. As I didn't do anything for 8 months, I found it really hard to get back into it. Once I had the all clear from the doctors I thought, as did everyone else, that was it I would be back to myself again. But as we all found out this op had taken more from me than 8 months. I couldn't do anything without mu back hurting.

On the 19th May 2008 I started back at work, well I say back at work but it wasn't the work I had left 8 months before.

My old work which was working with animals really wasn't happy with me having an op, even when I said I was only going to be off for 2 weeks. So after 8 months they really didn't make me feel welcome. I now work looking after mentally and physically disabled adults and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

Well it's been over a year now since my op and I am only now feeling like I'm getting back to myself. I repeat I'm getting back to myself but I am no where near as active as I was.

In January 2009 Andy and I booked up all our holiday for the year. We had a few days and weeks here and there but our main holiday was 2 weeks in June From the 12th to the 28th.We had both agreed that we wanted to go camping in Scotland. We then started to talk about what we wanted to do.

One of the first things I said was I wanted to talk up Ben Nevis. As soon as I said that Andy laughed at me and said I could never do that now, maybe 2 years ago, but not now. Now this became a theme, everyone was saying the same thing. All I kept saying was, "As long as I have given it a go I would be happy".

The thing is, the more people say I can't do things, the more determined it makes me to do it.

Sadly in March we found out Andy's dad Ian had cancer. As time got closer to out holiday we both decide that going away at this point really wasn't the best for both us and the rest of the family, so we decided to stay at home. Even more sadly Ian passed away on the 11th June.

In the two weeks that we have had off I had a lot more people, Including Andy, say they bet I was glad we didn't go and do Ben Nevis, because they thought I was all mouth and no trousers and I still wouldn't be able to do it. So here is where the joke started I told Andy I wanted to walk up Ben Nevis for charity. That was all I said.

So the next day Andy and I went round Kevin's, my brother and his wife's Lou's, for dinner. Who, I just have to say, have just found out, they are expecting a baby boy in October. So congratulations to them. Anyway back to out dinner. While we were there Andy told Kevin and Lou about me walking up Ben Nevis for charity. Now I told them the same as I did to Andy it was just a joke.

Kevin, Lou and Andy all said I shouldn't joke about it, and if I wanted to do this I could really make a difference to the charity I chose. They also said that they would help me in what ever way I needed them too, even if it meant them walking up Ben Nevis with me. Kevin also said he would talk to his friend to try and get me publicity for what ever charity I wanted, all I have to do is chose one.

Because they were all so excited and supportive they made me feel I could really do this, not just for everyone who said I couldn't do it, but for myself as well. Because, if there are lots of people telling you, you can't do something then a part of you starts to believe them. So by the end of the evening I am walking up Ben Nevis, all I need to do is get myself a personal trainer so I don't hurt myself and chose a charity that I want to help.

Now this is where it became really hard choosing the charity. I could go for the obvious ones like Cancer Research or Forest Holmes who helped Ian and the rest of the family so much, but I really didn't want people to think that I was doing this because of what's happened, I am doing this for me. So I needed a charity that is personal to me. I want a small but local charity that doesn't get much if any publicity and so I can hopefully see the difference I could be making. I want to be helping people like me. I need a charity that sees beyond a disabled and can see the potential that disabled people have.

I went straight on the internet, I talked to a few people at work and the one charity that keeps coming up is Poole Sailability. From what I can tell Poole Sailability teaches disabled people how to sail, which as I said it shows disabled people and everyone around them what was can do. Before I decide that this is the charity that I want I am going to hopefully meet someone and get more information about them.

Now with the personal trainer that I'm going to need I already have someone in mind. I have a sports massarge once a month and last time I saw him he said he was started up his own business to be a personal trainer. So the first person I'm going to ask is him, by the way his name is Rob. I am meeting him in a couple of weeks to see if he will help me.

Now as you may be able to tell this isn't the end of my story. I'm not sure why I started to write my story, I'm not even sure what I'm going to do with it. I just know that I'm going to keep writing until I have achieved everything I want out of all of this. I just hope you want to keep reading it.